Soul Care Toolbox: Five Skills to Develop as We Care For Others
Part of wise and helpful ministry starts as we allow God’s truth to work through our own lives. As we work with God in the sanctification process and experience the reality of His change in us, we are being equipped to better understand and help others too. Here are some skills to develop in your own life as you seek to serve others.
Take time in your own study of the Word to pause and reflect.
I confess that it is easy for me to get caught up in the study of Scripture. I love seeing connections and digging deep. But all that can be a mere mental exercise unless I stop to respond in some way.
This does not always mean I have to add another thing to do on my list but it can simply be a pause to worship or thank God, pray for something in my own life, or affirm my hope in Him as I wait on Him in trust. Even in this, our inner selves are being sanctified. How have you responded to Scripture today?
Learn to listen as a ministry.
It is easy, especially when someone shares something you “get,” to jump in and start sharing your own story. This is tempting for me! Trust that if you are to share your story, the time will come. But for now, just listen. Invest your energies in tracking with the storyline or the train of thought. Can you summarize what they have just told you back to them accurately?
Learn to ask good questions.
This is not natural for me (as I like to talk!), but if you’re paying attention carefully, most likely you’ll hear something that will pique your interest. Sometimes it might even be a “throwaway” or incidental comment. Circle back to it and tug on this “thread” a little more to fill out the story. Ask yourself: What’s another question I can ask?
Learn to notice the Spirit at work, even in the dark and painful moments.
It’s easy to focus on the negative. Or sometimes it’s hard to see. But if we believe in a good God, we can trust that He is present and at work in every situation. Be on the lookout!
Whether you share it with them or not may depend on the situation. I have learned that sharing it too soon, before they feel heard, may come across as dismissive or like you’re trying to push them through their hardship too quickly. Instead of being encouraging, it may be interpreted as being callous and insensitive. However, whenever it is appropriate, it is good to glorify God by sharing with them how you see them at work in their lives.
Watch for themes that may surface over time.
Whether in your life or another’s, rarely do we struggle with things the first time we encounter them. Usually the things that frustrate us are long-term issues, cropping up in different relationships and circumstances. They are not (as David Powlison says) “newly hatched.”
Once you start recognizing them, trace backwards to the instigating circumstance or situation. What common patterns and themes do you recognize? Often, these give us hints on temptations to watch out for and help us be more alert to them. This also allows us opportunities to consider other ways to deal with them when they do come up.
Even in ministry to others, God is refining my own heart to serve. He uses our participation in the sanctification of others to benefit us, to help us grow in our own sanctification.
Think forward to your day today. Will you be rubbing shoulders with others? How might God use you as His instrument, to point others to Christ today? How might that conversation be an opportunity for you to grow in one of the above skills?